It’s complicated. We’ve all heard that before haven’t we? Whether it's a relationship, family, a job, a diet, or truly any situation. Those two little words seem to haunt a good amount of the things we do. I know that has been true for me and is still true for me today. You see, I deal with anxiety and that makes my life a little complicated. Lately I have been walking through a new healing that is all my own and I find myself often saying, “It’s complicated.” Because saying that allows me to keep a safe distance from truly assessing my situation. And, I don’t have to come to a full understanding of my own weaknesses and flaws. It also allows me to keep healing at an arm's length and it allows me to keep people away that want to be close to me. To me, staying in a space where life is complicated, allows me to avoid closeness. Because when someone gets close, they can help you. And, for some, including me, that’s dangerous. Like when my friends ask me to coffee or dinner or pretty much any event, I excitedly say yes. Because deep down I truly want to go see them, but as the time comes closer I am crippled with anxiety. Sometimes to the point I end up backing out entirely, other times I have to open up about my situation and let them know I’m not doing so hot. (AKA please don’t be mad at me if I decide to run out of the coffee shop with zero explanation at the moment.) Being close to me right now is complicated, and I know that. But that doesn’t change my desire for closeness with those around me. So how am I supposed to find a closeness that fulfills me here? At this point I can keep claiming complicated and keep closeness at a distance, or I can be brave enough to dive into it and make closeness a little complicated.
You see, relationships and friendships are complicated, and it's not just because people are complicated (even though most of us are), it's because we are broken. That's right, all of us. We are imperfect beings trying our best to be close with one another. I don’t know if you have ever touched broken glass, but usually it cuts you. (shocking I know) But in order to handle broken glass you have to know exactly how to hold it, have gloves, be gentle, and even if you tried you probably couldn’t put it back together. You probably will try though, and after gluing it back together you realize it's not the same anymore. Trust me I’ve tried. When we seek relationships as broken people we are like broken glass. We have to be careful who we let hold us, they have to know how to handle us, because if not we’ll both be left hurting and different than when we started. Now I am not saying that if you're broken you need to isolate yourself because you will hurt everyone around you. No matter how complicated your broken is there are people that can help you through it. But they will not be what heals you.
As much as I wish that the good intentions most of the people in our lives have were enough to fulfill our desires for closeness and healing, they aren’t. When we seek this closeness with other people we lend ourselves to complicated, broken, and difficult relationships. I would like to think that as humans we have a general understanding of our own imperfections, and therefore understand one another's imperfections. But that isn’t always the case. Usually we have a difficult time placing ourselves in other people’s brokenness unless we have been in their shoes. Again, all of this makes human relationships complicated. So we walk around looking for a perfect relationship or friendship to fill the hollowness inside of us. To put the broken pieces of our glass back together. We crave closeness from people to close the gap that sits in our chest. Desiring for things to be simple and for loving one another to be easy and when that comes up short we are left wanting and searching again.
Complicated right? What if I told you that the closeness you seek is right in front of you. We have all spent a decent amount of time trying to find “perfect” and came up short every time. Humans aren’t perfect. (no matter what instagram tells us) And because we aren’t perfect, we cannot; love perfectly, communicate perfectly, understand perfectly and we cannot find healing and the closeness we desire with another human being. But y’all. Jesus.
A relationship with Jesus isn’t complicated. The lovely Toni Collier says, “Jesus came to give us the perfect picture of a perfect relationship with us imperfect human beings.” And if that isn’t the truth. We have a savior that is relational. All He desires is to spend time with us, and for us to know Him more. He desires to fill us up and to mend our broken. Psalm 34:18 tells us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit.” You need to go read Psalm 34 for yourself to see how deeply God desires to be with us. He doesn’t just want to mend our broken, He wants it to never happen in the first place. All that we have to do is draw near to Him. And that isn’t complicated. It's simply praying, even when it feels a little strange, its opening your bible, or devotion, its being in nature and admiring His works, its singing a worship song, and sometimes its just crying because you don’t have anything else to give.
Having a relationship with Jesus isn’t complicated, and it doesn’t require much of you. Yet it is the most fulfilling, healing, and restorative relationship you will ever have. Your broken won’t hurt Jesus, and your mess doesn’t scare him. No matter how complicated things are for you they are never too complicated to be close with Jesus.
LET'S DO THE HARD STUFF
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Maggie is a Psychology Enthusiast, Writer, and an Advocate for Mental Health and Emotional Wellbeing. She has walked through brokenness and learned that she’s not alone there. She wants to bring radical, relatable, and raw content that allows people to see into her journey and find hope there that illuminates their darkness. Connect with Maggie to learn more.