We are so grateful to have Eryn Eddy of So Worth Loving be a part of our Closeness Series this month! What a joy it is to partner with other women who are diving into topics that we feel are important, and potentially life-changing. Join us and Eryn as she dives a little deeper into closeness and uses her own personal story to inspire us and maybe you too!
closeness : noun // Merriam Webster's Dictionary
The quality or state of being close.
Familiarity, intimacy, nearness, proximity.
I think sometimes we use our relationships and friendships to fill voids that they were never intended to fill in the first place. When we do that we start to see them as an object and not a person that has the same struggles as us. If you’ve done that, you're not alone. Me too girl. I will say that's why it’s hard for us to respond to them with grace when they have done us wrong because we were seeking safety in them instead of having appropriate boundaries of where we find our fulfillment.
Wouldn’t it be a dream if we responded to all of our relationships knowing that our intimacy is to be found in Jesus. He will fill every void that the person physically in front of us can’t actually fill and if this dream sounds unfamiliar, let me share where I’m coming from.
I’m almost 3 years since my separation and divorce. I didn’t know that I’d experience loss of a relationship and friendships as well. Coming out of that, I was starving for connection and I can say I sought it in other people and things before I ever thought I could find it in God.
While I wish I could say I don’t crave it anymore I do. I always will. That’s part of our flesh. Our flesh has an appetite. That feeling is good but it’s what we do with it, how we navigate it, and how we protect it that matters deeply. I still crave connection and intimacy with another person. I’ve dated multiple times since and yet nothing has stayed. My cries and prayers have looked like “Lord I was so lonely in my marriage, wouldn’t you want me to be blessed with a person by now?” and you know what He reminded me? That it’s not another person's job to “fix” my loneliness… I heard Him so audibly say “of course I want closeness for you, I’ve made you for that and this time I have every space revealed in where I can fill. Let me. Can’t I be enough right now sweetheart... Can’t you enjoy just me? Your life may be filled with another person and kids one day, but at this time, I get to dance with just you and romance just you. I have all your attention. I want to show you how your fulfillment can be found in me. When your fulfillment is found in me, you will live freer and more light. Let it be just us right now.. Let it be.”
That you guys, is the BEAUTY of what may feel like in a desert hidden season. Every piece of you is revealed to learn what areas you’ve had a deficit in that only He can fill.
The Lord will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
Oh I want that. This sun-scorched land… have you ever felt that? Completely scorched by life. By mistakes. By friendships. By relationships. He will strengthen your frame and you will be nourished.
I can’t tell you how much that changed my perspective of singleness and desire to be close to another person. It also convicted me of how I had placed pressure on my past marriage and friends to fulfill a void they were literally incapable of filling. I had to enter this hiddenness to dance and be romanced by Jesus. And listen, I get it, sometimes we just want to know we are good enough and cherished by a human being beside us with a glass of wine cooking dinner together. However what I’ve learned on this journey is that I need to see myself as good enough and cherished through Jesus first because no human being will ever sustain that appetite. They will struggle and they will fail and our confidence can not ride the waves of another person that struggles like we do. When we lean into Him and learn how He sees us, no person can take that away when they are at their worst.
So let that be your lens. Pray for that to be your lens. Every day. Set a reminder on your phone that prayer to pray 3x a day. God, let me see myself through your eyes. Let me see you are enough and I am cherished by you.
You will start to look at friendships and dating differently. I’ve learned that I now want to protect that sacredness I have with Jesus. When I have the lens of protection, no projection of another person will pierce through the work God has done.
LET'S DO THE HARD STUFF
Dive deeper with these questions we’ve put together to help you become more intentional in applying this content:
Social entrepreneur and creative, Eryn Eddy is the founder of So Worth Loving– a lifestyle clothing brand. Since it’s start in 2011, Eddy has since grown So Worth Loving into a notable company that has sold to all 50 states, 30 countries, and continues to garner a growing presence of over 100,000 across social media channels. Her her work has been featured in publications such as CNN headline news, MSNBC, Mashable, Jezebel Magazine, Southern Living, and Atlanta Magazine. She lives in Atlanta with her cutie French Bulldog Bernice. Connect with Eryn to learn more.